


Eight Years

by alcx



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: 19 days - Freeform, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Build up, Cute, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, He tian - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Jian Yi - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Mo Guan Shan, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Zhan Zheng Xi - Freeform, mo guanshan - Freeform, old xian, the tags will be updated as i continue writing and posting, zhan zhengxi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-06 03:46:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12808914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alcx/pseuds/alcx
Summary: When he was still in his final year of middle school, Jian Yi went missing without a trace or any notice. Eight years later, he makes his return and catches up with the people he left behind, finding that things are nothing like how they were in middle school. He realizes that he still has feelings for his childhood best friend, Zhan Zheng Xi, after eight years of no contact between them. After rejecting him so often in middle school, Zheng Xi begins to realize that he has feelings of his own for Jian Yi...and maybe he always has. As they spend months reconnecting, they separately attempt to sort their feelings. But as time goes on and the feelings for each other grow, both Jian Yi and Zheng Xi realize that being just friends with someone you’re in love with is impossible….





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welp, it's been wayyyy over a year since I've posted on the AO3. But I lately got back into both Tamen de Gushi and 19 Days, so I have this huge influx of fanfic ideas. I tried writing one 19 Days fic like two years ago, and I recently reread this. It was kind of awful? So I sort of rewrote it, because I think my writing has improved? This fic is my homage to the old one. The concepts are pretty different, but there are some things that this fic and that fic have in common.
> 
> I might post the unfinished draft of the old one later, just to show where the inspo for this fic came from. But I have lots of ideas and confidence for this fic, which is rare. For a very long time, I had no inspiration or ideas to write anything at all, not just fanfic.
> 
> But I'm so glad to be back to writing with passion! And I did miss the AO3. Without further ado, the beginning of a brand new fic after being MIA for over a year.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 开始了。

He Tian took a long drag from his cigarette, expanding his lungs and filling them with an intoxicating smoke. He examined the boy standing in his doorway up and down like a predator would his prey. Jian Yi hung his head miserably, his platinum blond hair so caked with mud and dirt that he looked almost like a brunette. His clothes were torn, stained, and seemed to have holes chewed out of them, possibly by rodents. He Tian slowly blew the smoke above his visitor’s head, looking at him boredly.

“The hell happened to you,” he drawled, so disinterestedly that it sounded more like a statement than it did a question. He leaned against the doorway and put his cigarette between his lips, taking another drag from it. Jian Yi made no reply, nor any kind of movement or gesture to show that he had even heard what He Tian had said. “Did you hear me?” He Tian said, scowling.

Jian Yi ignored him again, remaining perfectly still. He Tian kept watching him, wondering if he was going to say anything at all. He took a step to his left and put the cigarette out in an ashtray. He folded his arms, narrowing his eyes at Jian Yi. He was still trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

However, musing his thoughts was short lived, as Jian Yi began to suddenly fall forward. It almost felt like something out of a film—he fell as if he were in slow motion, and after what felt like too many seconds, his face planted itself perfectly onto the hardwood. There was a huge smack as his entire body made contact with the floor. He laid motionless on the floor.

He Tian sighed. “The first time I’ve seen you since middle school, and the first thing you do is pass out on my floor. With your dirty hair too,” he grumbled. Annoyed as he was, he figured that leaving Jian Yi in his doorway would be an inconvenience, so he dragged him to the couch. It wasn’t too hard for He Tian to lift the boy’s lanky, almost malnourished body and plop him onto the cushion.

He looked back at the mud, leaves, and twigs that Jian Yi had tracked in, and trained his gaze again at him, who was now peacefully out on the couch. He Tian sighed again. He lit another cigarette, taking a drag. Somehow, he had a feeling that he would be needing far more than one cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT AND BORING I KNOW. BUT IT GETS BETTER, I PINKY PROMISE. I have a ton of writing in the Google Doc I'm working out of, and I decided to break it up into short chapters. I function muchhhh better with short chapters honestly. So do not fret, I will update very soon. I have like four more chapters or so prepared for publishing, and I'm still writing all of my ideas down. Haven't even really proofread tbh but ehh.
> 
> I'm honestly so proud of myself for having a completely SFW concept tho lmao like. Back some years ago when I cranked out fic ideas non stop, I was this nasty, horny little 13 year old or so that was obsessed w/ smut. (Not saying that I'm not nasty and horny anymore) I would have innocent ideas, and as I wrote them, they somehow became smutty yikes. All of the ideas I've had recently are like not sex involved at all. But if I get one, I might write it and post it. Who knows?
> 
> But anyway, thanks so much for reading, and I do hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave a kudos and a comment, and maybe bookmark it so you'll be able to see when this fic gets good?
> 
> My social medias:  
> [my tumblr blog](http://mophead.tk)  
> [Tamen de Gushi/19 Days insta](http://instagram.com/jianyeet) (follow me and like my posts!)  
> [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC03mHlR-1zuBWfaWzWjaBUw?) (check out my videos, subscribe, and drop some likes!)  
> [Squishy insta](http://instagram.com/squishyclvb) (follow me here too and like my posts!)
> 
> My tumblr is entirely dedicated to tdg and 19 days, so please check it out! I posted some edits that I worked really hard on (they're on my fan insta too). I'd love to get more followers and recognition...and maybe click my ads while you're there? I'm tryna get some money as a poor teenaged boy alongside my part time job heheh.
> 
> Anyway, SORRY FOR THE SHAMELESS SELF PROMO LMAO. Love yalllll


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jian Yi wakes the fuck up and remembers something and gets all sentimental. Feat me attempting to have a dramatic cliffhanger like ending (spoiler: it doesn't work.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this chapter isn't that much more interesting oOF. But it has substance (ish) and it's longer soooo that's positive? Sweet god, pls just bear with me. It's gonna take a long ass time to get good.

When Jian Yi woke up, it was morning again. Daylight broke through a crack in the curtains, streaming into the house. Jian Yi squinted, adjusting to the light and his surroundings. He looked around, unsure of where he was, or how he had gotten there. In fact, he had no recollection of the previous night at all. “Hello?” he said in a croaky voice that was barely audible, hoping to grab the attention of anyone else who could be in the house. He sat up on the couch. A silhouette that had appeared in the peripherals of his vision caught his eye. His head snapped in the direction of this person, eyes widened at this new turn of events. Jian Yi stilled his breath, waiting for the shadowy figure to make a move first.

He Tian slinked out from beneath the shadows, bringing his figure into Jian Yi’s sight. Jian Yi let his guard down—not only did he recognize this person, but he was also wearing a set of light blue flannel pajamas patterned with little teddy bears. Relief swamped Jian Yi, and he smiled despite the aching pain that plagued his disgruntled figure. He even giggled a bit, though it sounded more like a dying pig than it did a real giggle.

He glared at the boy, folding his arms defensively. “What are you laughing at?” he said, leering.

“I like your pajamas,” Jian Yi managed with a playful smile. Although his eyes twinkled mischievously, it was still clear that he was in great pain.

He Tian let his guard down just a bit, almost pitying the boy. “Fuck you, you cheeky bastard,” he said with an almost invisible simper, holding out his middle finger proudly.

Jian Yi scoffed, flipping him off back. It was almost some sort of unspoken handshake, a greeting between two people whose relationship was not quite friends, but not nothing either. They used to flip each other off a lot in middle school.

“Long time no see,” Jian Yi said. “He Tian.”

“Eight years since we last met, isn’t it?” He Tian wondered aloud. “Last time I saw you was middle school, then you disappeared. And your first appearance nearly a decade later was landing face first in my doorway. It’s a very Jian Yi thing to do.”

“Is that what happened?” Jian Yi asked, genuinely curious. “I don’t know what the fuck happened yesterday. I know I’m fuckin’ sore and my head is throbbing hella, though.”

“I was wondering that myself,” He Tian said. “Not sure I’m surprised. Did you get into drugs or gangs these last eight years? You came here looking like some sort of tramp. You’re dirtying my house.”

Jian Yi rolled his eyes, somewhat annoyed. “No. I’m as clueless as you are, bastard.”

“Whatever. You need to shower and do your laundry. I was already kind enough to let you stay overnight even though you’re disgusting,” He Tian scoffed.

“Can I borrow your shower?” Jian Yi asked.

“If you pay me,” He Tian said. Jian Yi looked up at him, wondering if he was joking, only to realize that he was dead serious. He scowled at this realization. “What? I don’t get running water for free. You can’t just mooch off of me.”

“Does it look like I have money on me?” Jian Yi asked, pulling the pockets of his sweatpants out. “Not even a cent.”

He Tian rolled his eyes. “Let’s say you owe me one,” he said. “Actually, two, because I’ll let you do your laundry too. Just know that this is because I don’t want my clean house to be tainted.”

“It’s an honor that I’m even allowed to visit,” Jian Yi said sarcastically, standing up. “Do you have clothes I can borrow, by the way?”

“For a third IOU, sure.”

“Then I guess I’ll walk around naked after my shower, at least until my clothes are done being washed.”

He Tian tsked, scowling at Jian Yi. “Fine. I don’t wanna see your ugly ass prancing around naked. I’ll find you some clothes.” He disappeared down a dark corridor, presumably into his room, and returned with a pair of unbranded sweats and an old, red Adidas shirt. It had been worn so many times that the red color had begun to fade severely.

Jian Yi looked down at the clothes he was being lended with suspicion. “These probably have moth eggs in them. Who would trust you for clothes?”

He Tian’s brow furrowed in irritation. “Who’s the one that asked to borrow clothes? You don’t get to be picky. And give me those dirty clothes, I’ll throw them in the wash for you.”

Jian Yi stripped off all of his clothes, with He Tian turned around so he wouldn’t have to see any of his visitor’s naked body. Jian Yi threw his dirty clothes at him and took the clothes he was going to borrow from his arms, half running down the corridor to find the bathroom. He Tian peeled the dirty clothes from his head and held them tentatively between his index finger and thumb. “So dirty,” he said with a scrunched up face.

“Hey, bastard! Aren’t you gonna give me some underwear?” Jian Yi yelled from the bathroom. His voice was barely audible over the sound of running water.

“No, fuck you!” He Tian yelled back. “That’s disgusting.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Just don’t wear underwear, you fucking pervert.”

Jian Yi grumbled to himself. He hated how roomy pants were without underwear. It brought back a memory from eight years ago...back when he was still best friends with a boy called Zhan Zheng Xi. He remembered asking him to borrow underwear after a shower at his house. Like He Tian, Zheng Xi refused him as well. In the end, Zheng Xi’s sister ended up walking in on him with his hand in his pants, scratching his balls.

Jian Yi chuckled to himself. Back then, it was a massive deal: Zheng Xi screamed at him for being so lewd in front of his little sister and his little sister cried and begged for her brother not to be friends with such a weird person. But eight years was a long time, and now, it was a distant memory.

As he was musing his thoughts, Jian Yi felt sweat bead up on his forehead, and he suddenly realized how humid the room was. He looked up from his lap and noticed the steam in the air, and he remembered that he was supposed to shower. “How long did I sit here for?” he wondered aloud as he stepped into the shower. He looked down and watched the dirt of last night swirl away into the drain.

When He Tian was sure that Jian Yi was showering, he took his phone out of his back pocket and began to type a message to a number that he had almost forgot he had, it was so infrequently used. In fact, he hadn’t texted this number for eight years. Until now.

 

**_Today, 9:33_ **

Zhan Zheng Xi, Jian Yi is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to format the texts like they are in iMessage?? Or at least how texts look on an iPhone. That's why it looks kinda weird. I like the concept, don't think my execution was good but eh. Hopefully you catch my drift? Well. I tried.
> 
> Thanks for reading my shit! You don't even have to like it (let's not leave hate tho). I'm still pretty glad that someone would take their time to read my writing. I mean, I hope you liked it? Maybe gimme some kudos, a comment, bookmark heh? But in the mean time, stay tuned for the next chapter...
> 
> My social medias:  
> [my tumblr blog](http://mophead.tk)  
> [Tamen de Gushi/19 Days insta](http://instagram.com/jianyeet) (follow me and like my posts!)  
> [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC03mHlR-1zuBWfaWzWjaBUw?) (check out my videos, subscribe, and drop some likes!)  
> [Squishy insta](http://instagram.com/squishyclvb) (follow me here too and like my posts!)
> 
> My tumblr is entirely dedicated to tdg and 19 days, so please check it out! I posted some edits that I worked really hard on (they're on my fan insta too). And you can leave fic prompts and ideas and such too! I'd love to get more followers and recognition...and maybe click my ads while you're there? I'm tryna get some money as a poor teenaged boy alongside my part time job heheh.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk a filler chapter lowkey but i describe how imma write the mild tianshan??? and describing how i perceive/write their relationship with eachother and how it's changed yeah idfk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last few paragraphs of this chapter were me trying to A) pretend like I'm good at writing LMAO and B) foreshadow(?) and failing oof. So if you cringe, don't worry, I did too. But uh enjoy anyway!

He Tian put his phone back in his pocket and walked to the kitchen. “The fuck is that punk when you need him?” he muttered to himself. “I need some breakfast.”

As he was debating calling Mo Guan Shan and demanding that he come and fix breakfast, his phone vibrated with the notification of a new text message. He looked at the banner on his lock screen.

 

_ 1m ago _

**Zhan Zheng Xi**

Call me immediately.

 

He Tian read the text, and just as he was about to call Zheng Xi, he heard the squeak of the shower knob being turned off, and the water stopped. “Fucking damn it,” he whispered. “If he hears me call Zhan Zheng Xi he’ll be crazy.”

Instead of making a call, He Tian opened up his messages and quickly typed a reply.

 

**_Today, 9:33_ **

Zhan Zheng Xi, Jian Yi is back.

 

Call me immediately.

 

No. You can talk to him yourself.

 

As soon as He Tian closed the messages app and put his phone to sleep again, Jian Yi opened the door to the bathroom and walked out, a cloud of hot steam waltzing out with him. “Thanks for letting me borrow your shower,” he said as he walked into the kitchen.

“You still owe me two favors, though,” He Tian said with a smirk. “Don’t forget it.”

“Yeah, I know, you selfish bastard,” Jian Yi said, frowning with disapproval. “Anyway, what’s there to eat here? I’m starving.”

“And now you want to eat my food, too? I’m not your maid and this isn’t your house,” He Tian huffed. “You randomly come all dirty to me in the middle of the night, and start making yourself comfortable! Using my shower, my washing machine...what do I get in return for babying you? Nothing! How selfish of you. And anyway, there’s no food, and I can’t cook.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Jian Yi said in a deadpan voice.

He Tian rolled his eyes. “Fine. Whatever. You’re going to owe me a lot, though, Jian Yi. As soon as you’re done eating and your clothes are dry, you’re leaving.”

“How are we going to eat when there’s no food? And you can’t cook for shit?” 

“Fuck off. I’ll call Momo and make him buy some ingredients and cook breakfast.”

“Momo? What a cute nickname,” Jian Yi snickered. Then he added, in a serious tone, “You still using him? It’s been eight years since the shit that happened.”

He Tian hesitated, pursing his lips. “It’s not using anymore. It’s more complicated now…” he said, reluctant to continue.

Jian Yi smirked. “Oh? Has the hatred evolved into love, maybe?”

He Tian glowered at him, readying his hand for a slap. “No,” he grumbled instead. “It’s just...complicated. It always has been, anyway. Mind your own business, bastard. You can worry about what you’ll do after suddenly returning when you were gone so long.”

He Tian reached for his phone and tapped on Mo Guan Shan’s contact. He heard the phone ring a few times and it went to voicemail. So he called again. Voicemail again. Another call. Voicemail. Another call. Voicemail. He Tian repeated this process at least ten times, until on the last attempt, the call went through, and an angry voice barked through the speakers, “The fuck do you want, asshole?!”

He stifled a chuckle, but the smirk that had snaked its way onto his face was uncontrollable. “Breakfast,” he purred. “Please?”

The line went silent for quite a while, before Guan Shan said, “...fine.”

“Buy ingredients for two. There’s another mouth to feed today.” And with that, He Tian hung up.

The relationship between Mo Guan Shan and He Tian had changed since middle school, but not much. There still seemed to be an aspect of manipulation, and from the outside, they seemed like they hated each other. They threw around expletives and derogatory names at each other and lots of punches as well. And it still appeared as if He Tian was coming onto Mo Guan Shan, and being violently rejected. 

Over time, however, their feelings toward one another had changed. Somewhere along the line, Mo Guan Shan had fallen for He Tian, and vice versa. They both knew of each other’s feelings; it was obvious. But a deep fear of judgment, vulnerability, commitment, and trust forced both of them to hold back, hence why they retained their facade of two people who despised each other. 

But in little ways, the love they had for each other was shown, and subtly hinted at. He Tian flirted with him, though so subtly that no one seemed to noticed. And Mo Guan Shan inwardly accepted these advances, relished in them even, though outwardly he would scream and throw a fit. 

Things seemed to be the same as how they always were. But the feelings that had been bubbling underneath the surface were threatening to change the way things seemed to be. Threatening to reveal a secret that both men were trying desperately to conceal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh this was shorter than I anticipated? Everything seems longer in block paragraphs on Google Docs lmao. BUT AS YOU CAN SEE. It's kinda getting more interesting? The best has yet to come, so I'll keep ya on your toes. Stay tuned for the next chapter...  
> My social medias:  
> [my tumblr blog](http://mophead.tk)  
> [Tamen de Gushi/19 Days insta](http://instagram.com/jianyeet) (follow me and like my posts!)  
> [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC03mHlR-1zuBWfaWzWjaBUw?) (check out my videos, subscribe, and drop some likes!)  
> [Squishy insta](http://instagram.com/squishyclvb) (follow me here too and like my posts!)
> 
> My tumblr is entirely dedicated to tdg and 19 days, so please check it out! I posted some edits that I worked really hard on (they're on my fan insta too), and obviously I reblog as well. And you can leave fic prompts and ideas and such too! I'd love to get more followers and recognition...and maybe click my ads while you're there? I'm tryna get some money as a poor teenaged boy alongside my part time job heheh.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mo glamshan arrives & accusations are thrown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh ngl I like lowkey hate this chapter. Like plotwise it's getting better but I didn't like my writing style. I didn't know how to fix it AT ALL so I just left it. So I'm sorry for the crappy writing yikes. I highkey sound like a 6th grader in my writing it's bad times.

After 45 minutes of waiting, five harsh knocks came to He Tian’s door, as well as a loud, angry voice. It was so loud that this voice could be heard clearly all the way from the kitchen, even though the front door muffled most outside sounds. “I’m here, you piece of dogshit!”

He Tian turned from Jian Yi and begun walking to the door. He briefly smiled to himself, trying to contain his excitement. But as soon as the smile met his lips, it was forced away. “Shut the fuck up! Don’t yell at me through my door,” He Tian yelled back, hoping that he could conceal the joy in his voice by acting cruel.

He opened the door, finding a very irritated Mo Guan Shan standing in his doorway. He had two bags of groceries in his hands that were filled to the top with a variety of produce and meats.

He Tian peered inside the bags, guessing in his head what Guan Shan was going to cook. “Took you long enough,” he scoffed, folding his arms across his chest. “I’ve been waiting forever! I might be dying.”

“Shut the hell up,” Guan Shan glowered at him, pouting slightly. “And move. You want me to cook or not, bastard?”

He Tian moved aside, smirking now. “I didn’t call you here to fuck around...or maybe I did?” He chuckled a bit at the indignant, yet also embarrassed, expression on Guan Shan’s face, and slapped his ass playfully. “So, what’s cooking, you piece of shit?”

Guan Shan shrieked, as he always did when He Tian did something romantic or sexual, even. “What the  _ fuck _ are you fucking doing?! Don’t fuck with me, asshole!” He went on, spewing swears and threats. He tried to beat He Tian, though his punches and kicks were dodged easily. He Tian simpered the whole time. “The fuck you smiling about,” Guan Shan said once he had calmed down a bit, glaring up at He Tian.

He Tian shrugged, turning and walking to the kitchen. “Hurry up, Xiao Mo.”

“Don’t fucking call me that!” Guan Shan barked, curling his hands into fists. “Stupid shit!” He wasn’t actually as annoyed as he acted, but he was still annoyed. That didn’t stop him from trailing after He Tian, like he always did.

When Guan Shan walked into the kitchen, He Tian was sitting across from Jian Yi, casually asking where he had been the last eight years. At least, to He Tian it was casual. To Jian Yi, it felt like an interrogation. Question after question after question, and of course, He Tian had the most serious face while asking them.

Guan Shan stood awkwardly in the entryway, only catching He Tian’s attention when he cleared his throat. He Tian turned toward him and scowled. “Did I ask you to come here so you could stand and stare at me?” He asked, almost threateningly. “I want some goddamned breakfast. Is that so hard for you to understand? Fucking cook already!”

Guan Shan muttered curses under his breath as he turned to take the ingredients out of the bag and lay them out. He had cooked so many times for He Tian that he knew where every single pot and pan was, every object in every drawer and cabinet. It was more familiar than his own kitchen.

He Tian sighed and faced Jian Yi again. “Jian Yi, tell me where the hell you were for eight fucking years.” His voice sounded angry, sad, annoyed, and...hurt. Most of all, he sounded hurt.

Jian Yi stared down at his shoes, reluctant to tell the story. He didn’t want to recount what had happened. In fact, some of the reason he had returned was so he could forget and start over. He had hoped that he could see his loved ones again and be distracted from his pain. 

The majority of the reason, though, was because he needed to see Zhan Zheng Xi. Everyday since he disappeared, Jian Yi thought and dreamed of Zheng Xi. He would play their memories in his head over and over, just so he wouldn’t forget him. They were always so very clear. They were vibrant and bright and almost sentient. Jian Yi loved Zheng Xi too much to forget him, or anything about him. It had been eight years too many. He needed to see Zheng Xi, to hug him and hold him and tell him how sorry he was. How much he missed him. How much he loved him. He acted it all out, choreographing every breath, every step, every blink, every word….

He Tian’s voice brought him out of his reverie. Jian Yi looked up into He Tian’s eyes. They were still filled with hurt and anger. “You hurt so many people,” he said. “I heard your mom was a wreck, absolutely devastated. I heard that people you didn’t even know were hurt. And Zhan Zheng Xi. I didn’t hear that he was hurt, Jian Yi. I fucking  _ watched _ it. He and I aren’t close. But do you know what it’s like to watch a person fall apart? Whether you know them or not, it does something to you. He pretended like it wasn’t that big of a deal. As if he wasn’t fucking worried about what the fuck had happened to one of the most important people in his life. He came to me. We helped each other. But he needed help more than I did. I had to support him so he could just function. He was reduced down to nothing but fear, misery, anxiety, anger, concern. I saw a side of Zhan Zheng Xi I didn’t know existed. He changed. So why? Tell me, Jian Yi, why you hurt all of these fucking people? Why did you break the person you love the most?”

Jian Yi clenched his teeth. He shut his eyes and balled his fists, trying so hard to hold back the tears that stung at his eyes.  _ He cared about me so much… _ he thought. His efforts were futile, and soon, tears slipped from his eyes and rolled down his face. And two tears became four, eight, then a steady stream. He buried his head in his hands, gasping for oxygen as he sobbed. He cried for the eight years he was gone, and he cried for his mom. But most of all, he cried for Zheng Xi.

It took several minutes for Jian Yi to somewhat compose himself and wipe his tears away. Once he did, He Tian’s question registered in his mind. A flare of anger surged over him, and suddenly he was glaring right at He Tian. “I didn’t disappear because I fucking felt like it,” he growled. He could feel the fury rising in his voice with every word he uttered. “Did you think that I just fucking left for no reason? I would never do that to Zheng Xi.” Jian Yi sighed, and the rage in his voice subsided. More tears flooded his vision, and his voice tremored with pain. “In those eight years, I spent each night and each day wishing I could go home. I wished that I could go home to Zheng Xi, He Tian.”

He Tian pursed his lips. He hesitated at first, then, he said softly, “Then tell me. Where were you? What the hell happened to you?” He paused, searching for an answer in Jian Yi’s broken expression.

“Tell me the story of your eight years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still writing chapter 5, and school starts back up again tomorrow, so it might take a little longer to finish. Hopefully I'll be done with it soon so I can post it asap. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you've been enjoying our slowwwww path to zhanyi (and mild tianshan). Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter....
> 
> My social medias:  
> [my tumblr blog](http://mophead.tk)  
> [Tamen de Gushi/19 Days insta](http://instagram.com/jianyeet) (follow me and like my posts!)  
> [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC03mHlR-1zuBWfaWzWjaBUw?) (check out my videos, subscribe, and drop some likes!)  
> [Squishy insta](http://instagram.com/squishyclvb) (follow me here too and like my posts!)
> 
> My tumblr is entirely dedicated to tdg and 19 days, so please check it out! I posted some edits that I worked really hard on (they're on my fan insta too), and obviously I reblog as well. And you can leave fic prompts and ideas and such too! I'd love to get more followers and recognition...and maybe click my ads while you're there? I'm tryna get some money as a poor teenaged boy alongside my part time job heheh.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the story only just begins...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this took SO long for me to get out. I'm so sorry, I've been busy as well. Finals are near so it's getting busier. But uh this is the first part of Jian Yi's story. Originally I was gonna do the entire story in one chapter, but. The place I ended was a great opportunity for a shitty cliff hanger lmaooo. This was quite a few pages on Google Docs but ofc the AO3 makes it look like I wrote like two sentences smh.
> 
> But, I hope you enjoy! Hopefully it's getting better. For me, at least, it's getting a bit more fun to write. But I've enjoyed writing it all this time anyway, but I get excited thinking about what I see as the climax.
> 
> I'm still really busy, so the next chapter may take a while to come out. But I'm trying to fit in time to write! 
> 
> Also, I only proofread like two paragraphs lmao so uh if you see any mistakes let me know. I'm lazy oops.

Jian Yi took a shaky breath. He dried his tears once more and remained silent; mentally preparing himself. The only sound in the room was the quiet simmering noise of the pancakes that Guan Shan was making. 

Jian Yi finally spoke. His voice was raspy and nearly incomprehensible. But he told He Tian the entire story.

“Some of this is going to sound like a bad American drama,” he said with broken, brief smile, staring down at his shoes. As he began to speak again, Jian Yi stared directly into He Tian’s eyes with a look that was more determined than anything else. “But so help me god, I swear it’s all the truth.”

He Tian nodded cautiously, motioning for him to go on.

“On someday when we were all in our final year of middle school, I was walking to school. A black limo pulled up next to me. Two buff men dressed in suits and sunglasses stepped out of the car. They looked, and acted, identical. It was this strict, almost rehearsed manner. They walked right in front of me, clearly to stop me from walking. So I stopped. I was scared, but I kept a cool expression.

One of the men asked me, ‘Are you Jian Yi?’  

I was too scared to say anything, so I didn’t answer. I just stood there and looked back and forth between them. It was kinda awkward, even. I wondered if I should make a break for it. Who even were these people?

The men looked at each other and nodded curtly. And before I even knew what the hell was happening, they picked me up, and threw me in the trunk of the limo. But not before they just took my bag.

When I felt those hands grabbing me, I screamed. I tried hitting the two men. Even when they threw me in the trunk, I was kicking and still screaming, crying a bit too. What surprised me, though, was that they didn’t do anything to restrain my body movements at all. That goes for the whole time I was in this situation. No ropes, no sacks, no handcuffs.

Before the car started moving again, I could just barely hear them rustling through my stuff and murmuring about it. I guess at one point they found my school ID, because I heard one voice say, ‘We have the right person. This is definitely Jian Yi.’

I heard the engine start up and the car began to move. And as soon as it did, even though I was terrified and confused, I felt tired as hell. I think they did something to drug me, maybe something in the trunk of that car. I don’t know. But the next thing I remember is waking up on an island. It was nowhere I knew.

For a few hours I sat on the beach, looking far away and trying to figure out where I was. I couldn’t even see the city in the distance. It was all empty for miles. I was stuck on an island and I didn’t know where the fuck I was, who the fuck arranged this, or why the fuck it was me. Yeah, I was scared, but I was also confused and nothing seemed to make any sense.

I didn’t know what happened to my stuff, either. They took my backpack, and apparently my phone too. It wasn’t in my pocket anymore.

After I just sat there for a bit, the men in suits came back for me. One of them said my name. I ignored them. They waited for a response, and when I made not even an acknowledgement that I had heard them, they forced me to stand, grabbed my arm tight, and dragged me with them. I tried to get away and I flailed and kicked and screamed. They had an extremely hard grip. It was kinda like with each movement I made, their grip got stronger. 

I don’t know how long or how far they dragged me for. I zoned out really quickly. Trying to block out the world, what was happening. But after however much time, we stopped moving. When I looked up, there was this old, rusty door in front of me. No window to let me see what was inside waiting for me. One of the men took out a huge keyring full of keys. It took him several minutes to find the right one.

The door made this really awful creaking sound when it was opened. The keyman propped it open and he and Man #2 dragged me through the door. Then they shut it behind us. The building was dim and it was kind of hard to see. The lights were obviously old and cast a sickly yellow glow on anyone within their range. They flickered and were placed randomly throughout the corridor. They took me through concrete halls and turned left and right multiple times until we got to another door.

This one was unlocked though, so Key Man didn’t have to spend more time searching for the right key. The door wasn’t creaky and old like the other one. I think it was wooden. The men opened it and dragged me through it. This room was dimly lit, but not at all like the rest of the building...the dim lights in this room seemed to set a mood. Romantic, maybe. 

It was a bedroom, actually. Against one of the walls was a king sized bed. It seemed expensive. In fact, the whole room seemed really fancy. I don’t remember much besides the bed...but I remember everything about the bed. I do remember, though, that there was a mahogany armoire, a door to what I assumed was a walk-in closet. A loveseat with a massive flat screen TV mounted on the wall in front of it. A desk, also mahogany, with a very nice computer. A lot of expensive belongings.

The two men carried me onto the bed and left me there, closing the door behind them. It was a very soft bed. The kind you felt yourself sink into. I was tired and terrified and it was hard to get myself to leave the bed. It was comforting I got up, though, and I tried the doorknob. Didn’t even turn. There wasn’t a lock from the outside, only one on my side, so I guess one of the men must’ve jammed it.

I took a real shaky breath and tried to calm myself a bit. Before I had tried to hide my fear, but now I was starting to really panic. I screamed as loud as my voice would allow. A little part of me hoped that maybe this island had other people who could save me. There were not, though. Or if there were, they did not hear my screams.

My voice was beyond hoarse, and it was quickly reduced to nothing. The back of my throat stung raw. I could make quiet whimpers and whines, but no words. When I tried to speak, only a tiny, inaudible whisper came out.

I looked to the nightstand on the right side of the bed. There was a small lamp, among other things. Without even thinking, I was so desperate, I ripped the lamp from its plug and threw it at the window. It bounced off. I didn’t, and still don’t, know what the fuck that window was made of. It seemed invincible though. I went around the room and threw as many objects as possible. None of them broke it. I hammered on it with my fist. It was clearly glass, but apparently not breakable.

I gave up. After some minutes of mild hysteria, I curled up on the loveseat. I couldn’t scream anymore, so I cried instead. I still didn’t know anything. What was happening, why it was, what was going to happen...I felt like a little kid.

My pity party didn’t last for long, though. I heard voices outside the door and my head shot up, as if that would allow me to hear better. There were three men out there. Two of them were the men in suits, whose voices I recognized. The unfamiliar voice was very sweet. He sounded charming, especially in the way he laughed. Later, I learned that it was all an act with that man. 

There was some shuffling directly outside the door, and it slowly opened. The man with the sweet voice poked his head through and smiled at me. The man was in his late thirties or early forties, but he looked good for his age. He clearly took good care of himself. He was dressed semi-formally: he wore long khaki-colored pants, neatly pressed with a crease directly down the center of each leg; a perfectly white, long-sleeved button down shirt with a black tie, and a long, black wool coat. His hair was a pale blond, with eyes to match.

I’ll never forget that moment when I first saw him. I still remember every damn detail.

My eyes never once left him. I watched as he opened the door just enough to slide through, and promptly shut it behind him. He slid his coat off and put it on the rack right next to the door. I was trembling. Nothing I felt before this very moment, even when the men in suits threw me into the limo, could compare to the fear I felt right then.

He walked to this bed and perched himself on the edge of it, facing me. All the while he stared at me with an unreadable expression. The air was thick with tension. He seemed inviting, but alarms were going off in my head. Something told me to run. My head was spinning, overwhelmed and petrified. The magnitude and suspense of the situation nauseated me.

For minutes after the man first entered the room, we kept our eyes on each other. He saw me trembling, he saw the fear in my eyes, I could tell. I could tell because it invigorated him, and he did not hide it. This gentle looking man with a soft voice was a fucking sadist. He slowly shifted his eyes from me to the room, looking around the place. His expression still remained passive, casual.

Then he returned his gaze to me. He was smiling, closed-lipped. It was the same smile he had on his face when he first peaked his head into the room.

More silence. I would’ve thought it was awkward if I weren’t scared. But it in that moment, it was a tense silence. He spoke again, in a way that contrasted how he was outside. It was a subtle difference, but his voice seemed cynical, and he spoke in a bit of a drawl. 

‘Jian Yi,’ he said, almost pleasantly. ‘How are you?’

I didn’t say anything. Even if my voice had not left me earlier, I would’ve been too paralyzed in fear to even make a sound. I watched him, and I saw that my eyes told him everything. I didn’t need a voice for this man to read me.

He nodded, glancing briefly at his shoes, wondering what to say. It was the kind of conversation you had with a relative you barely knew, or maybe just met. That small talk with long, unnatural pauses between words. 

‘My name...you don’t need to know it. To you…’ he paused, dramatically. ‘I’m ‘Master.’’ 

He looked around the room again, and his face darkened as he returned his gaze to me. His polite smile returned. It didn’t seem right with the rest of his expression. So out of place it was an uncanny thing to look at. 

‘Jian Yi…’ he said. The way he spoke sounded like he was scolding a child. It was condescending, disappointed. But it sounded more sinister. ‘Did you do this to my room?’

The fear had been building up inside me. I almost began to shake my head, something to possibly help myself out of this situation. But I didn’t. I froze. As he spoke once more, I couldn’t disguise my horror any longer. 

‘Well, I suppose I’ll have to punish you,’ he said with his pleasant smile.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the reason I hate proofreading is because I hate my writing so much like. If I go back and try to correct it or even just read it I'll literally rewrite the whole thing. I'll get nitpicky as heck and be like "oh my god I suck at writing, this is AWFUL, I need to rewrite this entire 16 page story" as if my writing style changed or improved in like the last 30 minutes. I can never be satisfied with my own works. Yay hating yourself and having no confidence in any of your abilities whatsoever!!!
> 
> Also, just a warning: the next chapter might be really uncomfortable for some people. I don't want to spoil anything, so I won't say what it's about, but if you're sensitive to chapters with explicit themes (I will not be writing what happens in detail, it'll be very vague. In fact you might have to infer what happened because it's so vague. But my point is, the theme/topic is sensitive), then I recommend not reading this chapter. The thing that happened will be mentioned in passing later in the story most likely, but it won't be the central focus, as it is will be in the next chapter. It'd be like super brief. Anyway, that's my warning. If it doesn't apply to you, great! Read on :) But iff it does, stay safe and don't read the next chapter if you think it might trigger something. If you think you'll be ok, then do read the next chapter! It'll be good (I hope).
> 
> But uh, thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned for the next chapter...I promise it'll get even better. 
> 
> My social medias:  
> [my tumblr blog](http://mophead.tk)  
> [Tamen de Gushi/19 Days insta](http://instagram.com/jianyeet) (follow me and like my posts!)  
> [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC03mHlR-1zuBWfaWzWjaBUw?) (check out my videos, subscribe, and drop some likes!)  
> [Squishy insta](http://instagram.com/squishyclvb) (follow me here too and like my posts!)
> 
> My tumblr is entirely dedicated to tdg and 19 days, so please check it out! I posted some edits that I worked really hard on (they're on my fan insta too), and obviously I reblog as well. And you can leave fic prompts and ideas and such too! I'd love to get more followers and recognition...and maybe click my ads while you're there? I'm tryna get some money as a poor teenaged boy alongside my part time job heheh.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS CHAPTER IS SO SHORT AND BORING I KNOW. BUT IT GETS BETTER, I PINKY PROMISE. I have a ton of writing in the Google Doc I'm working out of, and I decided to break it up into short chapters. I function muchhhh better with short chapters honestly. So do not fret, I will update very soon. I have like four more chapters or so prepared for publishing, and I'm still writing all of my ideas down. Haven't even really proofread tbh but ehh.
> 
> I'm honestly so proud of myself for having a completely SFW concept tho lmao like. Back some years ago when I cranked out fic ideas non stop, I was this nasty, horny little 13 year old or so that was obsessed w/ smut. (Not saying that I'm not nasty and horny anymore) I would have innocent ideas, and as I wrote them, they somehow became smutty yikes. All of the ideas I've had recently are like not sex involved at all. But if I get one, I might write it and post it. Who knows?
> 
> But anyway, thanks so much for reading, and I do hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to leave a kudos and a comment, and maybe bookmark it so you'll be able to see when this fic gets good?
> 
> My social medias:  
> [my tumblr blog](http://mophead.tk)  
> [Tamen de Gushi/19 Days insta](http://instagram.com/jianyeet) (follow me and like my posts!)  
> [YouTube channel](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC03mHlR-1zuBWfaWzWjaBUw?) (check out my videos, subscribe, and drop some likes!)  
> [Squishy insta](http://instagram.com/squishyclvb) (follow me here too and like my posts!)
> 
> My tumblr is entirely dedicated to tdg and 19 days, so please check it out! I posted some edits that I worked really hard on (they're on my fan insta too). I'd love to get more followers and recognition...and maybe click my ads while you're there? I'm tryna get some money as a poor teenaged boy alongside my part time job heheh.
> 
> Anyway, SORRY FOR THE SHAMELESS SELF PROMO LMAO. Love yalllll


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